Been awhile since I wrote here…
Kinda upset with myself that I have allowed myself only to work with the technique when it comes to my play. Maybe I have had too much time to think, as well.
I’m noticing that the less I work at exercising these muscles, the more I am prone to lack of ease, frustration, jumping into analysis via my intellect and straight up floundering. It hit me the absolute importance of staying in that creative state even during a show and allowing impressions, images, impulses and my other actors influence me during this process.
I forgot how important EASE, LIGHTNESS and FUN is when Acting. Chekhov talks so much about freedom and the technique should serve you and create joy in you. When all this straining is happening, the joy ceases and that is a very frustrating place. I’ve been struggling a lot with Jack- he is different than me- I feel general. My PG’s aren’t really “possessing” me as Chekhov talks about.
That brings up some huge issues
- The part of me that is afraid of doing things wrongly. The one that goes, “is this good enough?” And freaks out when it doesn’t feel right and stops.
- The imaginary thing always playing on me to give up and “sit down”. I feel this fall in my will and its so hard to fight against.
- The constant pressure on my shoulders. I’m starting to see this as an objective image of something grabbing onto my back and whispering how much I suck. lol actually when I think about it, that’s a great character.
I’m challenging myself to jump back to this. For the next week, my focus will be:
- Ease and lightness
- Atmosphere (objective)
- Expanding/Contracting (opening/closing)
I will update as I’m able!